Mother’s role in a married child’s life

 

On Mother’s Day, we often get wishes and messages relating to young moms. Mothers who have little children or even teens. Seldom do we see messages addressing mothers of grown up married children. So here is a short one for all the older moms, and of course the younger moms can glean a lot of wisdom from this too.

When your child is 30 or 40 or even 50 years old, still you are a mother and your influence in their life has a huge impact on them and their family.  

When your child gets married, they are entering a new phase and so are you. The Bible says “A man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife”. This applies to both son and daughter. Your son or daughter needs to leave you and cleave to their spouse. This does not mean you are not part of their life. The more you give them the freedom and independence, the more they will honour and cherish you. 

And much of the way they relate to you also depends on factors like, how did you treat your parents and in-laws in your family?, how have you taught them biblical values of respecting and honouring parents when they were young?, what have your prayers been regarding their family (I.e were they generous prayers without complaints which the Lord will honour)? How is your speech or words regarding your son in law or daughter in law? Is there favouritism towards one child or their family which is seeding a bitter seed in the other child’s family?

The Bible says “A wise woman builds her home, and a foolish one breaks it down with her own hands”

 Yes, the Bible is the manufacture’s hand book from our creator and it nails the problem. We as mothers can build our children’s homes or break them down with our own hands (or in fact with our own words). Just like the laws of physics which cannot be changed, the spiritual principles cannot be altered either. So if God is speaking to you about any of these areas, please repent and reset and ask God for a blessing in your and your child’s life.

As for children, though God outlined a host of blessings to those who follow the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20) and a whole list of curses for those who break it, the only commandment in the Ten Commandments with an immediate associated blessing is “honour your father and mother that you may live long in the land that The Lord your God is giving you”. So as a child if you desire a long life, it makes sense to honour your father and mother.

Remember, the way you relate to your in laws and parents, will be etched in the minds of your children and it’s only a few years by which the circle will repeat itself when they get married and you will reap what you sowed.

So as older mothers, 

1.  Give your children the freedom and independence to run their families.

2.  Be respectful of your sons in law and daughters in law, let there be gentle and kind words of encouragement and appreciation for the role they play. Remember they are mothers or fathers too. 

3.  Remember the blessing of a loving family and joy of grandchildren is a more precious blessing than Wealth or possessions. Choose wisely.

4. Pray for your children and guide your grandchildren in God’s word. You have a part to play in building a godly and blessed generation. Remember the responsibility God has given you.

The Bible records this for us to understand the influence of a woman of faith on her children and grandchildren:

 2 Timothy 1:5

I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.

Prayer: 

Our dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for this Mother’s Day. Thank you for setting us in homes and blessing us with children. Thank you for the grace you gave to bring them up with prayer and in godly instruction and faith. Lord may your kingdom’s values be the basis for our children’s lives. 

Even as our children are married and have families of their own, help us to guide them gently, to encourage them under the guidance of your spirit, to bless them with peace and joy and to pray with and for them. 

Help us to have wise words on our lips to build and not to break the home.  Help us to have the joy of seeing our children’s children.   Help us to fearfully teach our grandchildren of your awesome name and your wonderful work in our lives. Help us to gently guide them in the instructions of the Lord.

Help us set an example to our children and our grandchildren through our lives. We surrender  ourselves to you and ask this prayer in Jesus’ name. Amen